Motherhood = Suffering?

Okay, I know it's been a looong time since I posted about childfree issues. This blog has become a place where I've been recording workouts and not much else. But I have several things I wanted to share, and this particular incident will be the first.

DH and I attended a neighborhood party last night. As I think I've mentioned before, we live in a small, fairly affluent neighborhood where there are mostly empty nesters, childfree couples, singles, and a few families with kids. We get together several times a year for parties and the like. Because most everybody knows most everybody else, the neighborhood is an interesting place to live. When we attend parties, DH and I tend to split up so that we can take in as much news and gossip as possible, then we compare notes afterwards.

So, I was sitting with this one girl (well, she's a few years younger than me) chatting away while we dived into the most devine food. She has on occassion complained to me about motherhood, and last night was no exception. She told me her two boys (I believe one is 4 and the other is 2) were being babysat by her husband's cousin. She then started complaining about the cost. Apparently, this cousin charges $10/hour to watch both the kids. So last night cost them $50 just to walk down the street for a party. She said that she hasn't been out to eat in forever because it's usually a $200 deal by the time she adds in the childcare. Then she went on to say that childcare is so expensive that she has to be a stay-at-home mom. Her exact next statement was, "I would love to get a job and have a real life, but with the cost of daycare, it's a wash. So I just have to stay at home with the kids and suffer!" Hmmm....doesn't sound like it's "all that."

Prior to that, I was talking to another young stay-at-home mom who also isn't shy about telling me her trials and tribulations. She has two young girls who are about the same age as the two boys in the previous pararaph. Her childcare arrangements had fallen through, so her DH had to stay home with the girls. While I certainly have no problem attending parties on my own, I'd much prefer to have my DH with me. But at least she didn't have to pay $50 or more for childcare! Anyhow, she told me her younger child is into having meltdowns. Good times! Apparently, they were at the post office the other day and she was having a mega-meltdown. My neighbor was mortified as she tried to placate her daughter enough to get through what needed to be done at the post office and get her out to the car. As she was buckling her kicking and screaming daughter in her car seat, a stranger approached her and bitched her out for being a terrible mother and letting her daughter control her! More good times!

As DH and I were walking up the hill to our home after the party, I relayed the stories. He said, "boy, it must be parenthood bashing night," and then told me he had a similar experience. He had been sitting with "Al and Barb." Barb is an extremely outspoken woman, and some people find her a little abrasive. I always got along with her because I don't mind direct people. Anyhow, she was telling DH that her son and his wife had just had a baby. Instead of gushing, she was DISGUSTED! She said to DH, "these two had the perfect lives.....now they just go and ruin it by having a baby. Why on earth would you do something like that?!" When her husband Al stated, "well, we did," she said, "Yeah, and admit it....it was no picnic. Parenthood is a crock, and I challenge anyone to tell me otherwise. It certainly wasn't a positive in our lives!" Al just laughed, but he didn't disagree.

Three "not so positive" stories in one night....that might be a record!